How to “Get Over” Stuff When You Feel like Holding a Grudge

A gentle mental trick to “snapping out” of annoyance with your spouse, child, family or friend.

Photo by Andre Halim on Unsplash

I’m that type of person who if I get annoyed, goes over and over the incident in my own head for every waking moment for a couple of days. Obviously whatever happened gets blown out of proportion, taken out of context and turned into something completely out of control.

I mean out of control because I find it difficult to live my general life afterwards: find it hard to sleep, cook, eat, not snip at my kids and get on with the other bits of life I enjoy. This is where the person I want to be, comes into direct contact with the person I seem to be right this minute. Much frustration can result from this unholy meeting and then we can add a new layer to whatever is already swirling around in there: “Why can’t you just “snap out” of it?” or “Why do you hold a grudge for so long?” or “Why can’t you let it go?(like Elsa?)”.

I’ve also figured out that I’m easily annoyed: I am a prickly young woman who learned how to read and think for myself. I have never really been in the business of washing out my convictions for the sake of “getting along”. Apparently, this makes me “mean”, “overbearing”, “bossy”, “disrespectful” and “rude”.